Summer in Scotland?

I had to go to Edinburgh last night, so I could get my faithful steed, Smoggy, my BMW motorcycle it’s MOT. As mentioned in my previous blog, I am currently needing to do ‘homework’ for my IAM, so I was looking forward to not only a trip to Edinburgh, but an extended trip up to Oban to spend some vouchers. The run down was ace, however, did have two moments where I gave myself a good talking to for driving like a tosser. One moment was getting ready to attack the Dunblane round-about only to realise I wasn’t in 1st gear, I had slipped into neutral (or a coma?). #fail.

The good thing about going to Edinburgh is having a flat to stay in. The bad thing are the neighbours when, exhausted, your head hits the pillow and there’s a party going on next door. Darn. Got a good sleep though, and woke, looking forward to my day, even with the slight drizzle. First, a visit to the Chiropractor, for my ‘MOT’, then off to Motorrad in Dalkeith for Smoggy’s MOT. I have to say, the service here has improved no end, with Tony at the helm. Very helpful and not only that, I laughed my way through my wait, whilst Smoggy initially failed his MOT as my headlight was out of alignment. Then, it was brought to my attention that my front tyre was ‘nearly’ needing replaced. OK, just get it done, I have to cover +3,500 miles on my summer holidays. Never mind that, I got 10,000 miles out of it. Not too shabby. Go me.

Tony was hilarious, I blatantly eavesdropped on a telephone conversation where it seemed that the customer thought that Tony should be able to diagnose his problem over the phone, by giving a general description. Quite right, he said “Sorry, I can’t diagnose the issue over the phone…” When he came off the phone, we shared a giggle, and he said that he is so tempted sometimes to say, “Now, hold your phone next to the problem, and I will see if I can diagnose it….” Is there an app for that? He also shared a story about an unfaithful wife and selling her TomTom satnav. Brilliant.

New tyre on, MOT passed, I headed off (carefully) on the bike, given that I had to ‘scrub’ the tyre in. The weather in Edinburgh was breezy, but dry, so my plan was to stop off at home, have a bite to eat and head up to Oban. By the time I got to Doune, I was switching on my heated hand grips. By the time I got to Strathyre, I had them on full heat. By the time I got to Lochearnhead, I had lost contact with my hands and the temperature gauge had slipped to single figures. The rain lashed at the straights after Lix Toll and by the time I got home, I didn’t even wait to speak to Mum, gave her a ‘biker nod’ and carried on up to the house. (She asked me later, “was that you on the bike?” I had to restrain my sarcasm, wanting to say, “Who the hell else drives up through the gates wearing red, driving a bright red bike, of course it was ME ya silly woman…”. I restrained myself, from saying “who else would it be?). I turned the bike, ready to leave for Oban. Got in the house, switched on the heating, the coffee machine then realised just how cold I was. The gauge on the bike was registering 8 degrees. FFS, it’s meant to be summer! It didn’t put the midges off though. Little fcukers.

The plan was to have a warming soup, some toast (with Marmite) and head off. When I took off my gloves I knew that was out the question. I had lost contact with my fingers and my hands, even with the heated grips were stone cold. Hmmmm. I wonder if that has anything to do with my substantial breakfast that I had which consisted of:

Sod it, I got back on the bike and parked it up in the garage. You know, sometimes you have to just take that decision. Take the bloody car.

Coffee machine warmed, poured the coffee whilst the shower was heating. It wasn’t until I got into the shower I realised just how cold I got. It reminded me why I ‘don’t do’ winter biking, hang on a mo, it’s MEANT to be summer!!!! As much as I have a connector (thanks Andy Brown) for a heated suit, I don’t have the heated suit. Handy that. Boy, I could have done with it today, however, it’s bad enough fitting my ‘ample’ chest into my lovely jacket, however, I would be lucky to fit a Rizla paper into my bike jacket, never mind a bloody heated jacket too! *note to Santa, need a winter bike jacket. (Dear Santa…..)

Hang on a minute, my leg is getting shredded. Dotty is just NOT satisfied with his dinner tonight. Little sod. Felix was just not good enough and he insisted on Dreamies. OK, so I have added in the dotty nose and goatee to the picture…. 🙂

So, the shower did it. So did my cup-a-soup with lashings of Lurpak (measurement is being able to see the teeth-marks) and my favourite Marmite. My bike gear was dripping wet and my want to ride to Oban had been shelved. I needed a nice warm Honda!

Hang on a moment, never mind a cat shredding my leg, need to change the channel and top up my wine. The footy is on. Gag. I guess if you [me] are going to have a whine (said with a whiney voice) then you might as well have some wine. Aldi. Give it Aldi, your white wine rocks. Bloody hell, just checked the receipt, it’s £3.49 a bottle, and just deeeeeelish. (Why did I only buy two bottles?)

Anyway, footie off, Beechgrove Garden was not an option. As long as it is anything but footie (and the Beechgrove Garden), I am fine in my little bubble.

Where was I? Oh yes (she says, scrolling up… I wish I could write short, straight-to-the-point blogs, however, that doesn’t work with me!) So, I climb into the Honda, fuel up (dodging midge) and set off to Oban. The traffic was heavy on the way there, and as the weather cleared, I was wishing I was riding Smoggy. (sorry, buddy, I mean my trusty steed, Smoggy…you know what I mean, my reader!) anyway, digressing (as usual)…. My gear was still soaking at the back door, so I turned up the stereo enjoying my (copied) cd and concentrated on my drive. Really, I did, I used IPSGA (Information, position, speed, gears and acceleration… ta IAM) and thought not only about my car driving but also the difference if I had been driving the bike. Yeah, I would have been in drying mode at that point, but not warm. I would have been spin drying.

Getting into Oban, I spent my voucher, then I enjoyed a latte (with an extra shot, for good measure) at the fabulous Oban Chocolate Café. They give you a wee fish chocolate (or is that a chocolate fish?) on your spoon, however, that wasn’t enough, I just had to have the taster plate, for £1.80, you choose 4 chocolates to indulge yourself. My blood sugar, apparently was having a whine. My marmite on toast hadn’t done it. I am glad to say that my chocolate fix was sorted, until I got to Aldi. #fail.

The thing is, when I got to Oban, I was gutted. It was positively balmy. It was a huge 14 degrees. WOW. Don’t worry though, they must be deserving a huge deluge of rain, it was a bit clammy. Did all the stuff I had to do, including buying broccoli for the lovely Ellen.

Then there was the ‘teeth grinding session’. Coming out of Oban, I was behind a Golf. Super. She (it was a she) was doing 41, and on the straights, 49. Superb. My thoughts involved “If I had been on the bike….”. I watched the traffic, grabbed the opportunity and launched passed her, baaaarp of the vtec giving her the message. I couldn’t believe my eyes, when I saw GTI on her front grill. Much tutting. I don’t really suffer from road rage, but when I got passed her, there was much gnashing of teeth. Especially when she caught up with me in Connel, when, obviously I was doing 30, and obviously she was not.

To say I had a ‘spirited’ drive through the Pass of Brander was an understatement. It was FABULOUS! Any cobwebs on The Beast, are now officially gone. Brilliant. It reminded me just how much I love that car, even though it shakes the shit out of the speakers, and you constantly need to wee. Oh well. The Beast is so bloody good. I might just hang onto it for a wee while. [read – can’t afford to change it anyway – suck it up!]

It made me feel slightly better that I had NOT gone on the bike, as the rain pissed down from Dalmally. As I delivered the broccoli and a pressie to Ellen, all was good in the world, I was warm, dry and have had a BRILLIANT day. I am enjoying YUMMY (cheap) wine, am home alone and not being asked “What are you doing?” as I type on my laptop with drivel on the telly. Ed is away enjoying the Simmer Dim rally, and I have the house, the cat and wine to myself…. unless (the lovely) Ellen joins in. That is on the cards.

So, to recap, Summer in Scotland? What the hell? I know that we have to go with the flow, suck up the weather, or as my bestest buddy says, “build a bridge, and get over it!”, (you know who you are – *grin*) it’s just incredible, 20 degrees when I left yesterday, 8 degrees when I came home. FFS. I need a winter jacket and a heated suit.

Right, where’s that wine. Now I have had my ‘whine’, I can get on with my evening! Thank you for reading, please leave a comment! 🙂 xxxxx.

8 comments on “Summer in Scotland?”

  1. Susan says:

    I didn’t know I could leave comments!! How exciting!! Always enjoy reading your blog, and as you know particularly appreciate the freezing cold hot shower thing xx

  2. susie says:

    Lol I like the wee goatee on the cat food, made me giggle, 🙂 enjoyed the blog, can’t wait for the next 🙂

  3. Fiona says:

    woohoo! Left a comment! Aye, it’s not the most obvious thing to leave a comment! As for fung what-do-ya ma call it…. who cares?

  4. Fiona says:

    hehe! Was taking the picture and thought ‘hang on a mo….’

  5. Annie says:

    Love it, laughed all the way through !! I now have a whiny voice…i will come and share wine, any wine, Aldi , Lidl …okay Lidl a bit too far xxx

  6. Sarah says:

    Letting you know I am loving your blog…. Can’t wait for the next one! xxx

  7. jenny+neil says:

    hi honey yes that freezing feeling is shite, santa will have to work a bit harder this year as for that whiney feeling seems to be spreading from scotland!
    yum yum

  8. George C. Betty says:

    Well, well, in all the years I have never heard you “whine”. Constructive criticism,well intended advice, helpful hints have all been part of your armory in the past, but never a whine – still, it shows that you are “one of us”. By the way – I sometimes drive at 40-45 m.p.h. to enjoy the scenery . Remind me to keep an eye on my mirror for a red Nissan or whatever it is you drive , roaring up behind me !!! Loved the blog, Fi, it is always just you talking !!

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