My baby is back, and it’s ace!!

It’s been an adventure packed 24 hours for me… well, don’t know if ‘adventure packed’ is right, however, I did have a good time! I left work yesterday to go to Stirling, taking the Subaru for its service / MOT and general ‘dicht’. My pride and joy, known as ‘The Beast’ has been parked up since the end of November and has gathered cobwebs, two flat tyres and a flat battery. It didn’t help that it was covered in a couple of feet of snow through December and most of January. I had no choice but to have her towed, down to my ‘tyre man’ Chick in Stirling. I picked her up when I dropped off the Scooby.

Don’t get me wrong, the Scooby is great vehicle, practical, four wheel drive, great in the snow and ice and goes like melting snow off of a shovel. The 2 litre turbo boxer engine from the original Impreza is stinking quick. It’s as thirsty as a dehydrated bedouin. It passes everything on the road, with the exception of petrol stations!

The down side for me is it drives like a very fast sofa…. you have to adapt your cornering considerably in comparison to The Beast which corners like it’s on rails.

My pride and joy.... well, one of them!

I really have missed the brrrappp, brappp, vroooommmm of the Honda. You really do feel the difference when you get into it after months… driving with your ass close to the ground, in the comfiest seats and the most amazing tight steering. With the Scooby you did dodge most of the pot holes, however, with the Honda, you make sure you dodge them… otherwise you end up having to go to every available toilet on the way to anywhere, and besides that, it’s just cost me a couple of hundred quid to replace the front tyres, and they had only done a couple of hundred miles 🙁 and for that matter, the battery too… feck!

So, off down to Edinburgh. On to the motorway – at rush hour. Whenever I get close to Stirling, I always listen to the radio and the road reports, Clyde 1 is my favourite, and then Real Radio after that. Just as well…. Hermitage gate and round the bypass was chocka-block. The alert came at just the right time…. I went off at the Forth Road Bridge turn off, knowing that most of the traffic was heading out of town. What a damn good idea it was…. through Barnton, along Queensferry Road, through to the Western Approach and Lothian Road…. that was the first time I had to stop the car!!

There was a distinct lack of idiots on the road. What an even bigger bonus!

Had a chilled night all on my lonesome in the flat, Jessica and Blair are away on holiday, so I went to Tesco and bought wine and dinner and stayed in and watched the box. Only drank half the bottle too. Blimey.

It was a nice feeling getting back into The Beast in the morning, so satisfying bumbling round town, she’s such a pussy cat in the town, just ace to drive.

Then came the idiots.

The closest I got to shouting was a blonde in a Range Rover who was at the lights in front of me. When the lights turned to green she didn’t move. She was probably too busy applying her make up or texting on her iphone. Mind you, she was probably using the iphone screen as a mirror – is that not what they should be used for? (runs and hides) Yup, the lights went red and neither of us had gone anywhere! Luckily, she didn’t get the peep or the shout, I was just so happy to be back behind the wheel of one of Honda’s best inventions.

Pot holes. Yeah, aren’t they just pants. The cooncil come along, fill in the feckers, waste our money filling them only for the fecking feckers to pop out again in the first frost. Good god man… you might as well fill them with sand, it would probably last longer. I went down to Goldenacre to see if my ‘out laws’ (sorry AP if you read this) were home, however, they were out for lunch. By the time I had driven round the block, I thought my fillings were going to fall out and regretted not wearing my sports bra. Battered teeth and black eyes is not a good look!

At least my hair looked good. I spent 3, yes, three hours in the hairdresser earlier. That’s why I didn’t phone my mother and father in-law as my hairdresser had a bit of an oops with his appointments. My bum is still suffering big time from a fall in the ice after a be-drunken staff party over 2 weeks ago. I was up and down like a jack-in-the-box during my appointment. Driving in the Scooby was a painful experience and I had to stop and stretch my coccyx on the way to well, pretty much everywhere. So, between that and the scooby, I have to say it was a delight to climb into the bucket seats of the Honda!! aaahhhh.

I have to say, the only driver that got the idiot award today was the woman at the traffic lights, however, with a visit to the in-laws was not going to happen, I thought the best thing to do was head home whilst the traffic was light. What is it with people, I hate fast lane hoggers. Do people not understand the highway code? Do they not know that they should pull in after they overtake? Aberdeen has to be the worst for the ‘I am in the fast lane because I am going to turn right in a mile’. One driver was doing this going past the airport, and had a white-van-man up his exhaust the whole way. Then once on the motorway, past the 70 sign, the eejit in the fast lane doing 60. Yet again, I surprisingly kept my heed, just enjoying being back behind the wheel of the FD. Once he pulled in, I was off. That’s fine, however, I was just gagging to get back on the twisties… first I had to visit my uncle Lamond in Dunblane… then it was horns out….

Leaving Callander, there’s a wee stretch of road – nothing coming so went for the overtake. Just as I was passing the van, there was an on-coming car. I had pulled in, in front of the van when he flashed me. Wasn’t that nice, saying hello like that. I made the point of giving him an especially nice wave and smile. I didn’t even use any international sign language:

International Sign Language.

The run home was brilliant – apparently I was spotted by a Killin local, and no doubt the Crianlarich polis… pants on fire going round a *cough* ‘progressive’ bend at erm… em… 60mph. Believe what you will! It was a fabulous run, great fun with huge grins. The only thing was, it was far, far too cold to wash the car when I got home, roll on getting the garage finished so I can actually wash it inside if I want to! Not that I will, however, not only would it be good to do that, it will also be ace next winter not to worry about the beast being out under a pile of snow all cold and shivery….

Just in case you haven’t noticed by now, I am glad that the ‘time of year’ has come that I can get back into the Honda, I’ve missed ya buddy, and no, there’s no risk of anyone ‘borrowing’ you next winter just because I can’t drive you up here…. she will just have a well deserved winter off, all tucked up in your new home!

On the other hand, I really look forward to getting George (see the picture at the top of the page) out for the summer season. Oh, how hard it’s going to be choosing my chariot… The Beast, George or Smoggy (the motorbike for those who don’t know that my BMW has a name….) Looking forward to a wee TRS run very soon in The Beast, not that there are any cobwebs left on her after today! woop! Safe driving folks, shiny (?) side up and stay between the hedges.

George is all warm and snuggly right now.

One comment on “My baby is back, and it’s ace!!”

  1. International sign language – awesome!! a real LOL moment..!

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