Logical Logistics?

I got a phone message the other day. Leanne from UPS just called, she has a parcel for you. Hmmm. I wonder what that’s all about. So, I got on the phone to Leanne.

“Hi, Leanne, it’s Fiona from The Green Welly Stop.”

“Oh, hi, Fiona, thank you for calling. I have a parcel here. It’s been delivered to us by Royal Mail.”

“Uh, huh?” I said in my most interested voice, wondering what excitements were going to arrive in the mail.

“Well, I don’t know what to do with it.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, it’s arrived to us, at UPS and well, we don’t deliver up to you any more. We don’t use Oban Express any more, so I don’t know how we are going to get it to you.”

“Right. So, what are you going to do about it, Lianne?”

“Well, I don’t really know.”

“I thought you were UPS. Are you not meant to be able to work these things out?”

“Oh, I guess so, however, it’s just to let you know that it won’t be with you until next week.” (This phone call took place on Friday)

I wonder what I am being sent? Monday: no parcel; Tuesday: no parcel; then bursting with excitement, there on my desk yesterday, Wednesday, the mysterious package arrived. It really was a mystery. So much so, when it arrived (with a UPS label now attached)…. one of my managers wrote on it ‘It’s a mystery’.
Ripping open the box, I was full of anticipation. It was a bit light. There was a box within the box. Ooohhhh…. the excitement was far too much. Slid it out. There, in CAPITAL LETTERS, was ‘IMAGINE THE OLYMPIC GAMES WITHOUT LOGISTICS’. I opened the box. There was one sheet of paper. It was an advert, bumping up just how special UPS are.

Logistics? Apparently, UPS are going to be sending me a series of Olympic mailings, postcard size, to fit in my empty box.

Be still my beating heart.

You know, my first question is this: Why have a company like UPS sent mail by Royal Mail? I know we ‘used to use’ UPS and I am the account holder, but come on, no wonder UPS were so darned expensive, wasting an incredible amount of money sending empty boxes around the UK…. or is it the world? My second question is this: Are the Olympics not costing Britain enough money without sending out stupid, unnecessary advertising material, especially to a rural location that they can’t even deliver to?

The photo of the inside the box probably sums it up really.

Maybe I should keep the box out of curiosity and work out just how much money has been wasted promoting a service that we are not able to use. UPS, Logical Logistics? I don’t think so. What do you think?

Oh, PS… just called Leanne and told her the mystery box had arrived. I told her what was in it…. she said “You’re joking?!” I told her I was deadly serious. I think she fell off the seat laughing. Shame isn’t it when companies waste people’s time and money!

PPS… gutted that I didn’t get a mystery pressie in the post after all!

2 comments on “Logical Logistics?”

  1. Craig says:

    That’s just fucking outstanding….
    Superb.

  2. George C. Betty says:

    Well.well, such is life, Fiona. What you have experienced is but miniscule compared to the amount we waste as a nation hourly . What about the Diamond Reign Celebrations – they must have cost millions . I am sure Liz would rather have put her feet up with a wee dram instead . I haven’t seen as much tv footage about a queen floating on water since Michael Barrymore’s swimming pool party !!

    Great blog – many thanks

    G;)

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *