Life’s little challenges.

My training continues in the Filling Station. It’s amazing how you can see the business from an entirely different angle when you’re in charge of the fuel pumps. Some people shouldn’t be driving, let alone being let loose with a petrol or diesel hose.

Our pumps don’t have those never ending hoses that the big sites have. Ours have a limit. Exceed that limit of stretch and I hate to think what carnage would result. There was a guy in a Mercedes, which oddly, had two petrol caps. I’ve never seen that. We looked at the CCTV and right enough, he filled one side, then streeeeeeeeched the hose to reach the other. I had a word.

In fairness, Cyndi was about to stop the pump when she noticed what was going on. Too late. No damage done, however, I brought to the customer’s attention that he was stretching the hose to the max. He was dumb enough to say, “What should I do then?” My answer was polite, but simple. I pointed to the vacant pumps and suggested he should use them. “Oh,” was his reply. Suitably chastised, he paid for sweeties, forgot to pay for his fuel. Nutter. He did hang his head in shame a bit, and did admit to getting a telling off when he was talking to Cyndi. We did (the girls present) comment that he was ‘rather tasty’, Cyndi agreed, then added, “Just as well my hubby isn’t here….. Oh, he IS!” We all fell about laughing.

That’s the impressive thing, we’ve been a bit short staffed, it’s so refreshing to work with a fab team that can laugh. I think I lead the way most of the time.

There was one moment, I think it was with Cyndi; we were both viewing the forecourt. Right there in the middle was a bloke fiddling with his bits, right there, right in front of us. We both looked at each other at the same time and burst out laughing. Hopefully he retuned his tackle to their correct position.

There’s some things that get entered manually. Newspapers is one thing. The thought of adding that lot to the EPOS system would be a chore. So, enter a customer, he bought a newspaper. I asked him if I could check the price, his comment was, “What, you work in a Filling Station and don’t know the price of a Sun?!” My answer: “No, sir, however, I do know the barcode for a cream egg…. 50201600!” He he left, slightly confused. It’s 40p for a Sun newspaper.

Air freshener is popular. One customer took the lid off hers after she bought it. Marzipan… BOKE! I was gagging for ages. Don’t like that smell.

Some things get lost in translation. Talking about the weather is a sport here. Saying good morning to a customer was followed by, “It’s a bitty dreich today.” “Yes, it’s a lovely morning isn’t it, a bit of rain, but not cold.” Ok then.

A big challenge is the cigarette holders, which have to be covered up. Finding the sods are a challenge. It’s like pelmanism; that card game where you try to match the cards. I’m not really improving much.

There’s an Oban Express HGV driver that comes in (he’s hot) and he asked for Mayfair; not the top shelf one that contains boobs, but the cigs. I know where they are, I think. I lose all navigational skills and open most of the wee doors one after the other trying to find them. Pelmanism at its best. We both agreed that the covers on the cigarettes were a pain. Also, the changes being proposed to remove advertising on the packs wasn’t going to make the blindest difference to whether people smoke or not. His summary was, “Aye, it’s like pickimg your nose, once you start the habit, it’s difficult to stop,” I believe I fell about laughing again.

One pet hate is people coming into the business from the west and think it’s acceptable to leave the main road via the first entrance and zoom across the forecourt at 40mph and swing up the car park, not caring who is entering by the main entrance, not expecting someone to be doing that speed. Knob.

There are wind up merchants. One today asked what the price of a cheese sandwich was. He was hacked off, ranting about the price. He didn’t care that they were home made, fresh, packed full and quite honestly, good value. I told him I ‘took on board his comments’ I did say to him that we can’t compete with Asda prices. His parting shot was, “You should do what Walmart do, buy in bulk, and sell cheap!” Yeah, right. I pointed out that we were a family business, independent and didn’t have that buying power. Fell on deaf ears. He walked out, in disgust, jumped into his van which was parked in the disabled parking. Knob. He must have been yanking my chain (successfully), I went up to look in the fridge. He could have bought a sandwich marked to clear for £1.

I remember, many years ago, getting abuse from a customer who was hacked off at the price of lentil soup (which I’d poured). He said, “I’d sooner buy a tin and heat it myself!” My answer, “That’s fine, sir, you do that!” I poured the soup back in the tureen and he left. Sometimes it’s great being able to say things like that, although I don’t encourage the team to do it!

I was making barcode labels today, when Susie and I eventually got them printed, we were laughing again. We haven’t changed it either….

Fab!

And then this…. I couldn’t stop laughing….

Cracking plate!