A valuable lesson in ‘PPPPPP’

You know what it means, surely? PPPPPP: Proper Preparation Prevents Pi$$ Poor Performance.

Get it?
Got it?

Some people just don’t get it though. I met a young man today, who had made an appointment to see me. He obviously hadn’t had the lesson in PPPPPP. He got it today. I did tell him at the end of our meeting, had it been my other half at the meeting and not myself, he would have been chewed up and spat out by 3pm. He arrived at 2.40pm.

I won’t give away the organisation he was representing, however, let’s just say that he was wanting to offer financial assistance for team training from a Scottish ‘body’. As my reader knows, I believe in training and development. What I don’t believe in, is turning up anywhere, having not done any homework.

This individual is from Stirling and lives in Glasgow. By all accounts, he’d never ventured north of Dobbies. He had to ask if the A85 was a main road. He asked me, “So, what’s north of here then?” Really? At that point (2.50pm) I realised that this young man (with a Business Studies Degree) didn’t have a clue about the geography of Scotland, so there wasn’t a hope in hell that he knew anything about the business.

He had never heard of us. He hadn’t Googled the business. He had no idea that we are one of the largest employers north of Stirling. He hadn’t asked a work colleague if he’d heard of us. He just turned up and did nothing. I was going to dismiss him like a naughty schoolboy and tell him to come back once he’d done his homework. Instead of that, I have to admit to taking the pi$$ out of him, until about 3.30pm. Not in an obvious manner, until he had to ask if I was being serious. At last, I had his attention.

He said that he was, “a laid-back kind of guy.” Really? This idiot, with his degree in business studies, didn’t know what a GP (Gross Profit) was and when I said ‘budget’ he questioned that too. Maybe his extensive travelling in Thailand, New Zealand and Australia, had fried his brain.

I said, “It’s all well and good being a laid-back kind of guy, however, at least be a professional laid-back guy.” Personally, I don’t think he gives a hoot about his job, even though he did say he was lucky to have a job. It’ll be interesting to see what the result is after I sent him away from the business with his lazy tail between his legs. I gave him a whole bucket load of information and I wouldn’t be surprised if his brain exploded when he got back to his car. As for the instructions of turning right in Crianlarich to get back to Glasgow….. yeah, I know. No chance. Last seen heading down Loch Lubnaig searching for signs to Glasgow.

So, no offence, if you’ve got a degree, great. Use it. How can a person with a business degree ask what a gross profit is; and in the same sentence wonder what on earth a budget was. I believe that to get anywhere in life you need to learn, develop and bother your ass. You don’t plop yourself into a multimillion pound business to sell services and expect to wing it. No one’s that good. The ball’s in his court. He confessed to learning loads from me today. I made sure he did too. In actual fact I asked, “So, what have you learned today?” I couldn’t help myself, it’s the trainer in me.

I hope he speaks to someone and admits to being given his character. I doubt he will though. I do hope that he learns that he should respect business people, who give up valuable time no matter what you’re selling or giving away. He deserved to get his ass kicked today. I took pleasure in doing it.

So, success isn’t handed to you on a plate. People should learn to apply themselves and realise that a bit of effort goes a long way. People aren’t naturally gifted with common sense either, that’s obvious. For me, effort, experience, a willingness to learn, and plain commitment is far better than any degree. Learn something new, it’s not scary, it’s enlightening. Stretch yourself and your brain, you might get a surprise.

5 comments on “A valuable lesson in ‘PPPPPP’”

  1. Kenny says:

    Four words …… LAMB TO THE SLAUGHTER.
    I agree with you fi, I think Ed may have been a little less tollerant Pfffft.

    I know who needs his annual appraisal, the person who employed him. LOL

  2. Craig says:

    Phone call to his boss would help him unfortunately.
    Hopefully help them too.

  3. George Betty says:

    Hi Fi
    I think we have all met these type of ” whizz kids” at least once in our lives – some of us even more. JM employed several during my years with them ( they were good at that !!) usually lasted about three months , then we had to sort out the mess they had left behind !! Obviously it is still happening , i would love to have been a fly on the wall when you were taking the p%%s out of him. Well done


  4. I must make sure that I do my homework in future when I ask you to come for coffee to discuss matters relating to the IAM.

  5. John F says:

    Love the nice little touch with the directions to Glasgow!! Made me laugh!

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