49. So what?

It’s been a busy year. Work has been full on. At least all 5 double petrol pumps have not had a bump(touches wood).

So, what’s been happening.

Jeez oh.

Work wise; it’s been enlightening, frustrating and rewarding as usual. I suppose I should be relieved that so far, we haven’t had the massive list of incidents that we did last year!

Then there’s turning 49. Do I give a shit? No, I don’t really, however, I know that just around the corner is the ‘M’ word. The ‘M’ight just fly off the handle for no apparent reason. The moment when I ‘M’ight just come out in a ‘M’uck sweat for no other reason other than being BLOODY HOT. Or….. ‘M’y god…. am I wanting to slit your throat for being a complete and utter tosser? The signs are there. Just subtle ones. My thought bubbles are quite entertaining. The challenge will be not verbalising my inner voice.

There is someone in the business who’s going through the same thing, however, we don’t really get enough time together to share things. We do, however, make decisions on whether the windows get opened or not.

We win. Phew.

On that note, I’ve had a fan beside my desk for the last ‘phew’ months. If anyone steals it, I will cut off their hands. And their legs.

I just don’t know, I’m just slightly petrified. I have been warned. My Mum didn’t have a Mum that shared things like that. That wasn’t the way it worked. In those days, you just sucked it up and got on with it. I will have to, but what I would like to do is attempt to keep a ‘rough’ diary of the ‘goings on’. I hope it’s not going to end up being a horror story.

You have read this far…. well done.

I think I know what’s coming, but do I REALLY know what’s just around the corner? No, I really don’t know. Does any woman ACTUALLY know what’s about to happen? Do men get some sort of menopause?

You meet some some folk that have been through it. A visit from some Canadian friends, shared their experiences; thank you, you know who you are. My best pal in Aberdeen has shared her stories too and that was scary enough! My Canadian friends recommended a book, which I have bought, however, right now I would probably find it useful for waving at my face. I should maybe start to read it.

I am dreading it and I know that my other half is hoping that it will ‘just pass me by’. That’s wishful thinking, isn’t it? I hoping for that too, however, I’m not going to hold my breath. I feel sorry for those that will be at the receiving end of my hot flushes, my uncontrollable mouth and having to consider coping with me drinking decaf coffee in the second half of my day. It’s just unimaginable. Cut back on caffeine, alcohol and stop smoking? Oh dear. Kill me now.

In the meantime, there’s my motorbikes. It’s my stress relief and a way for me to switch off from my day job. Sometimes, I’ve found myself choosing a bike for my mood. Sometimes, I have a gut feeling. Always follow your ‘gut feeling’, it’s generally the right choice. Well, that’s my opinion! So far, it’s worked. I’m here, am I not? Then there’s those days. You might have had one. You start down the road and all of a sudden you realise that you have left your mojo back in the garage. On the shelf. If you feel that, turn back home. Park up your bike, crack open a bottle of wine and just sit and appreciate what you’ve got. If things aren’t going well, just stop, take a breath and just go home. It’s the safest option.

As for getting a flush on the bike. I really appreciate my new helmet. It’s only the start of ‘M’uch hotness and already my head temperature is hotter than my bike. I have – not on the bike, obviously – felt like I had ‘left for love, right for spite’ moments where I have felt my ears burning, only to realise I was having a ‘M’oment. At least when I have my helmet on, I can open up the whole thing and cool myself down. Sometimes though, even that hasn’t helped. FFS. For all other occasions, I am trying to find a fan. Anything. Any magazine, bit of cardboard, book, napkin, to calm my fizzing head. It’s like having hot pins and needles covering everything from the neck up. Oh deep unbridled joy.

So that’s it for the moment. I’m looking forward to a trip down south next week, to visit friends and instruct at Thruxton on an IAM RoadSmart Skills Day. It’s a ladies’ day, so at least when I come into the pit lane, throw my helmet down in a corner and throw my jacket to the floor, fanning my face furiously, I might not be quite as self-concious if it were a bunch of men!

Brace yourself. I am, that’s for sure.

Off to get a full-of-caffeine coffee.